Dear Ireland,

Where do I begin?
How about I explain about the fact that the reason I have been so MIA lately, is because well I've needed to be out of the loop for a while?
I've constantly been visiting my blog, checking the updates of those who I follow and when it came to my mind telling me that I needed to update...well I didn't really want to.
I was eager to notify this part of me in some way but then another side, told me their wasn't much point due to the lack of passion I've been holding.
I have been a little busy, but also I've been rather ill and my immune system has been severely destroyed due to be constant moving and I'll be truthful and say my body and mind has paid for the action.

Another aspect of me has been thinking about the future; it is often that I beat myself up because my journey to finding myself is incredibly slower then others and in the past year or so, despite the progress I have made, I still feel that I should critique in a way that destroys my confidence. (Am I alone in that, please tell me I'm not.)

I've been thinking about searching for jobs, whilst also being midway through my CBT, I've also been thinking about University, but then that goes out the window because I find my intellectual capability won't provide me a place anywhere.
Then I have been thinking perhaps I should evolve the spare room into an office and begin on my way to doing YouTube again as I found that a great part of me misses doing the entire process.

It's been an incredibly confusing time for me but not at all painful...I hadn't really expected that the beginning of my twenties would make me ponder my future as much it has (considering that's all they make you do in High School)

In a sentence, this month has been a huge pile of: I don't know.
Let's hope I seek out some guidance because wandering blind sometimes isn't the greatest.