Now I've got that over and done with, let's get to what matters.
If it has caught you by surprise, (or perhaps not), I myself am a woman, which evidently means that at a point in my life, I have had (and still do) to succumb to blood coming out of my body.
I'm bringing this subject forward because as of late, I have started to form a significant amount of dislike, not only for the lack of education about periods but the stigma which it holds.
When I think about it for quite a period of time (Pun intended), I become baffled by the fact that I have learnt more from my best friends or fellow Sharkies (that explanation can come later, let's just call them best friends for now) than I have from School, a system which should in fact hold responsibility for sharing knowledge on the topic.
Now I should state that the purpose of this post isn't to slander, nor voice my opinion further on that previous matter; my main intention is to share my experience and knowledge, as well as my close friends along with some basic tips that I have learnt along the way.
First and foremost, I'm not going to be one of those people who will literally spend 5 minutes trying to think of another word for: 'vagina', 'clitoris', 'orgasms', or anything which is relatable to the topic because quite frankly, I'm tired of sitting round a group of grown of woman who are frankly embarrassed about naming body parts which 99% of the human population have. It's human anatomy, not Lord Voldemort.
1. It isn't a race to get your period...really, it isn't.
Now, I'm going back quite a way here for myself as I remember specifically, where 12 year old me and my best friends, were laid in a tent quietly discussing when our periods began because some how, it really mattered.
Let me be the one to say it doesn't, because upon receiving it, you will suddenly become increasingly paranoid about whether or not it's obvious you're on your period, or whether you've stained your trousers and wondering if every one can see.
2. Following on from the first point: You will stain your trousers, your bed sheets and your underwear. You cannot avoid it.
But truthfully? Don't be embarrassed about it.
I'm currently at the age of 22 and my 'Oh my god', has evolved to 'Really? Again?'. In slow time, you will automatically switch to the pair of underwear you secretly want to get rid off, double up when it comes to bed time and learn to take a spare pair of leggings or trousers if you're particularly heavy one day.
3. Periods don't understand the concept of time.
One of the first things my Mum told me when my period came was write down when it initially started, this way it became a little more predictable but I should warn you: your body does what it wants.
The most vital thing I can say is always carry tampons and pads with you, even if your period ended a week ago.
I cannot begin to tell you how many times I would be walking to French, or Science in High School and have my vagina cry into my knickers despite having a 5 day period the week before.
Wrapping that up: Your period is like a Marvel movie, you think it's done but then after you dust off the chocolate pieces in your boobs, an ending montage suddenly throws up on you.
4. Pain is inevitable but a lot of it is dangerous.
This particular one is exceptionally important and I suggest you read it multiple times.
Throughout your period, you will experience an array of sensations: back pain, joint pain, stomach pain, headaches, nausea and much more. But know this, there are some females who have suffered burst appendix yet have ignored the situation, due to mistaking them for 'period pains.'
It doesn't matter what any one says, you know your period more than any one else, so if you are at all worried, I would heavily advise to see your Doctor.
It is much safer for it to be nothing, then to know you are now in an unlucky position.
5. Periods throw every thing out of whack.
As always there is going to be that one complete shit waffle, who will sit there and immediately blame your ever changing moods on your period, as well as announcing that you are also on yours but, I give you all permission to bleed over them.
Your uterus lining is shredding (Yes, it's actual flesh coming out of you) and your body is preparing its self for pregnancy, so not only does your uterus contract, but so does your intestines which then not only causes your diet to change but your toilet schedule too (Hey Period Poo's).
And to finish of that complete nightmare, your boobs are sore due to changes in your oestrogen levels.
Your uterus lining is shredding (Yes, it's actual flesh coming out of you) and your body is preparing its self for pregnancy, so not only does your uterus contract, but so does your intestines which then not only causes your diet to change but your toilet schedule too (Hey Period Poo's).
And to finish of that complete nightmare, your boobs are sore due to changes in your oestrogen levels.
So yeah, bleed all over them.
6. They can make you quite ill.
If you are one of those unlucky duckies who happen to shut down and feel like hell because of your period, please don't feel you need to battle your day.
I've been utterly blessed by Zeus, Jesus and every Hogwarts founder, to say that I myself don't get too bothered by my period, but I have met women who literally get knocked sideways due to their periods, so if you need home, don't feel embarrassed.
6. They can make you quite ill.
If you are one of those unlucky duckies who happen to shut down and feel like hell because of your period, please don't feel you need to battle your day.
I've been utterly blessed by Zeus, Jesus and every Hogwarts founder, to say that I myself don't get too bothered by my period, but I have met women who literally get knocked sideways due to their periods, so if you need home, don't feel embarrassed.
7. Orgasms help.
Along with every thing else that changes, your progesterone level is at it's lowest which essentially means you will become hornier throughout your period.
Period sex is ultimately a thing but if you or your partner don't dig that, feel free to grab a vibrator or your fingers will do the trick.
8. Not just blood comes out of you.
Another vital point to make is that if you have to take medication for another problem, or perhaps take it for periods specifically, you may be prone to change as well as damage.
When ever you go to the doctors and get prescribed a box of tablets, it is without a doubt you will receive a tiny little leaflet with all the side effects and more, PLEASE READ IT.
Not every one has the fortune of having a doctor (or a friend) who truly cares, so when the opportunity arrives and your mind is completely blank, whip out those questions and go crazy.
For some reason, not many females take their periods into account but I advise that you should; this is your health and your body, so you need all the love and care when it comes to it.
There is nothing more quite terrifying than going to the loo one day, pulling down your pants and finding something that shouldn't be there.
Clots may leave you (both big and small), heck your entire decidual cast can come out at once, which then leads me onto the next point.
9. Periods are hell but also a life saver.
I think I would perhaps need more then 44 sets of hands to count how many woman wished they didn't have their period, but on the up side, its a great detector for unbalance within your body.
I mentioned previously that basically your body does what it dam likes, but also a sign of irregular periods could occur due to physical illness, stress or perhaps actual damage to your bodily functions.
On a more severe level, when I was being treated for Viral Meningitis Encephalitis, my period didn't show up for around 4-5 months because the truth was, it wasn't essential that my body go through that procedure. But it also meant that it was aware that something else was wrong.
If there are sudden changes within your period like irregularity, blood flow, or change in consistency, chances are there is something wrong and I'd advise you to ask like crazy once more. (Even if the main cause might just be stress! Better to exhale then bottle it all up!)
If you are afraid or perhaps a little shy to go to the doctors about the said topic, please go online and search till your eyeballs fall out.
As I have said previously: It's better to worry over nothing, then panic because of your ignorance.
10. Tampons are cool, Bowties are cooler.
When you first get your period, they'll be quite the hoo-ha about changing to tampons from pads; quick note, neither one dictates whether you've wandered into woman hood.
Although woman all have the vagina from tartarus, we aren't the same in anyway; as you get a little bit more confident and venture into boots or super drug, you'll realise there is literally more tampons and pads then there this is shoes in Paris Hilton's closet.
Some tampons may not fit you, some pads might itch you, some may be too wide, whilst others might be too small.
It's all about personal preference and how your body is; periods aren't fashion accessories nor are they a hype and the last thing you want is to be bothered about using a particular tampon because some one else is using one from the same company.
If it fits, it sits.
11. Men can sympathise.
It may or not be a thing when your a young teen, but I can confirm men will gladly listen to you and discuss your period woes.
For those who care to know as well as pay attention to what happens throughout this dark time, a man who is aware, will suddenly know when to not change the TV channel, along with not making any attempts to take his share of chocolate buttons from the packet which is situated between your legs.
Period sex is ultimately a thing but if you or your partner don't dig that, feel free to grab a vibrator or your fingers will do the trick.
8. Not just blood comes out of you.
Another vital point to make is that if you have to take medication for another problem, or perhaps take it for periods specifically, you may be prone to change as well as damage.
When ever you go to the doctors and get prescribed a box of tablets, it is without a doubt you will receive a tiny little leaflet with all the side effects and more, PLEASE READ IT.
Not every one has the fortune of having a doctor (or a friend) who truly cares, so when the opportunity arrives and your mind is completely blank, whip out those questions and go crazy.
For some reason, not many females take their periods into account but I advise that you should; this is your health and your body, so you need all the love and care when it comes to it.
There is nothing more quite terrifying than going to the loo one day, pulling down your pants and finding something that shouldn't be there.
Clots may leave you (both big and small), heck your entire decidual cast can come out at once, which then leads me onto the next point.
9. Periods are hell but also a life saver.
I think I would perhaps need more then 44 sets of hands to count how many woman wished they didn't have their period, but on the up side, its a great detector for unbalance within your body.
I mentioned previously that basically your body does what it dam likes, but also a sign of irregular periods could occur due to physical illness, stress or perhaps actual damage to your bodily functions.
On a more severe level, when I was being treated for Viral Meningitis Encephalitis, my period didn't show up for around 4-5 months because the truth was, it wasn't essential that my body go through that procedure. But it also meant that it was aware that something else was wrong.
If there are sudden changes within your period like irregularity, blood flow, or change in consistency, chances are there is something wrong and I'd advise you to ask like crazy once more. (Even if the main cause might just be stress! Better to exhale then bottle it all up!)
If you are afraid or perhaps a little shy to go to the doctors about the said topic, please go online and search till your eyeballs fall out.
As I have said previously: It's better to worry over nothing, then panic because of your ignorance.
10. Tampons are cool, Bowties are cooler.
When you first get your period, they'll be quite the hoo-ha about changing to tampons from pads; quick note, neither one dictates whether you've wandered into woman hood.
Although woman all have the vagina from tartarus, we aren't the same in anyway; as you get a little bit more confident and venture into boots or super drug, you'll realise there is literally more tampons and pads then there this is shoes in Paris Hilton's closet.
Some tampons may not fit you, some pads might itch you, some may be too wide, whilst others might be too small.
It's all about personal preference and how your body is; periods aren't fashion accessories nor are they a hype and the last thing you want is to be bothered about using a particular tampon because some one else is using one from the same company.
If it fits, it sits.
11. Men can sympathise.
It may or not be a thing when your a young teen, but I can confirm men will gladly listen to you and discuss your period woes.
For those who care to know as well as pay attention to what happens throughout this dark time, a man who is aware, will suddenly know when to not change the TV channel, along with not making any attempts to take his share of chocolate buttons from the packet which is situated between your legs.
I shan't say that every man is this way because there is quite a large percentage of men who still get grossed out by the topic.
Put it this way, you should be capable of discussing your periods at the same level that they discuss masturbation and sex, so if they still scrunch their faces up at you, I would advise to talk that little louder next time ;)
Put it this way, you should be capable of discussing your periods at the same level that they discuss masturbation and sex, so if they still scrunch their faces up at you, I would advise to talk that little louder next time ;)
12. Pain killers become a staple.
Phone? Check.
Ipod? Check.
Purse? Check.
Tablets? Check.
To this day I still have what I refer to as a pharmacy bag and in this little pouch, I shall carry half of London.
There is nothing quite so horrific than typing away at your desk when suddenly, your uterus drop kicks you like K-fed.
In these circumstances, it's incredibly important to be prepared!
13. You aren't always pregnant.
I should definitely elaborate on this; if it at all you are late, or perhaps uncomfortably over due, don't automatically assume a baby is on the way.
Secondly, don't completely believe your science teacher because menopause can actually happen at any age, even when you're a teen.
Something else which is fairly common is that women have a tendency to think periods are possible even whilst pregnant, this is incorrect.
Sometimes you will suffer from vaginal bleeding which will occur frequently, giving you the illusion that it is a period when in fact, it isn't.
Every now and again, I will arrive at a moment despite my organisation where I will be without a tampon and fortunately, my superhero comes in the form of another woman.
There is nothing more quite comforting than having your panic soothed by a friend or even a stranger saying 'I have a tampon/pad, here!'
Since the very beginning I have not only carried tampons and pads for myself but for others, mainly because the place to start with stigma is at the source, which is women. If we can eradicate the main cause, chances are we can obliterate it elsewhere.
For now, that's all that the noggin' can handle; if at all you wish to question me about your own health or your period, please feel free to in the comments below! Discussions and stories are more then welcome, so attack away!
M x
Photograph taken by Rupi Kaur.
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