Take it and keep it.

The new year is finally upon us and I really don’t like it. Time is beginning to make me frightened in a way it really shouldn’t.

Although, I’m quite thankful time has passed so quickly because it then changes my mind process and I begin to take in things a lot more deeply, which I feel I should.

I don’t really want to sit here and begin to make a list of every successful thing I’ve been capable of doing because the truth is the past year hasn’t been physically accomplished but it has mentally.

This year has been phonomenal for my mental stability; I’ve kind of gone beyond what I thought I would be capable of doing and now I’ve pushed myself even further.

When I try to concentrate on the things I have been capable of achieving, my mind certainly does go blurry, how ever what I do know is everything I have done, I have done by myself.

There has been a great amount of negativity for me this year, a GREAT amount and I’ve lost some one whom I thought was the best person for me, but now I’ve realised they were the worse. 

It ended up being one of the greatest things to ever happen to me because I’ve been capable of standing back on my own two feet.

This year has allowed me to take more control over myself which is something I thought I couldn’t ever do. 

I hope I can take my recovery even further next year and accomplish more and more because I certainly know that I am capable.

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The things which I have learnt this year; the words of wisdom, the motive quotes, the words which have taken effect etc are:

• Stop being afraid. There are so many things, moments, events which go undone because people are afraid. The majority of situations which are said no to are blamed because of fear itself. Instead of contemplating the fear and the consequences, just go ahead and say YES. If it goes wrong, so be it, if it doesn’t you could have a breath taking time.
• Be selfish. Now for me, this was significantly important and I know when people read this, they will most likely say ‘it’s wrong to be selfish’ but let me tell you now, it is only correct in the situation it matters the most, which is your health and well being. I am an incredibly selfless person and I used to drop my hat when ever somebody wasn’t ok but what being selfless does is, it makes you forget about your problems, maybe even momentarily to the point where you can’t handle them or your own problems suddenly stress you out even more. You should always know that if something/somebody else risks your own health it’s acceptable TO SAY NO.
• Focus on what you do have, rather then what you’d like to have. This again is rather interesting to interpret and I apply this only to my darker self. There is a lot of people(including myself) who will sit and think about what they need or want or wish what they’d like to have but people (and I) tend to be so focused on what they don’t have, they forget what they do have. I find in these types of situations, the mind puts exceedingly high expectations on people in real life and when humans don’t reach this, it usually causes the human to falter. I find it is important to focus on what is accessible rather then look for opportunities which lie in thin air with no path.
• Perspective is important. Fact. This is something I learnt whilst in rehab and it is something which is vital for my recovery. I will relate this to mostly bad occasions because I feel it’s the most needed quality to have. My advice is look beyond the pile of bad which you have in front of you. In every situation, no matter how dark, there is a plus which you can take from it. I know this is always easier said then done - at first I thought it was the biggest pile of shit because how on earth is that plausible when I’m still crawling on my knees? But I can honestly say, there is a great deal of truth behind those words. It applies for any situation, for e.g. The weather is disgraceful outside, so you can either moan about it or wake up and think ‘Oh I can try on my new sweater’. It is simple and small but it is the most powerful thing I’ve learnt throughout the year.
• Give yourself a pat on the back. DAILY.. As wonderful as life maybe, sometimes days can make you think something entirely different. It isn’t a sin if you sit down and think you’ve done a great job because the truth is living through a day of stress, friends and family can sometimes be incredibly strenuous and not the easiest of things. Take time for yourself and congratulate you. I won’t hold it against you and neither should someone you love.
• Praise YOU. The human beings natural reflex is to place pressure on one’s self, so if it comes to the time where you’re tired of doing things (or what ever it is that you’re doing), remember that you’re at your best, you’re perfect for how you are and everything you give will always be enough.

I’m certain there are more but right now, I think these will be my key factors. If any wish to join in and say something they have learnt or maybe accomplished this year, then do so.

On the other hand. I wish all of you the strongest, happiest, safest new year :-)

R x