21.

The time finally arrived last week where I turned the big 21 and to me, I hadn't really anticipated it to be very big, or at least remotely fun because the truth is all my birthdays have been incredibly simple and not very large.
But I had been informed many a time that you only turn 21 once, (obviously) and that I should do something for it, however, since the beginning of this year I have been cosntantly asked what I would like to do for it and even until last week, my response remained the same 'I honestly don't know.'

I haven't ever been the one to host parties, because the truth is I'm not the biggest lover of people and I know that whenever close friends have hosted parties, it was more stressful than enjoyable and truthfully, I didn't want my birthday to turn out that way.

I'm most certainly a family person and from a very young age, I've spent the majority of my days in the living room with my parents so when it came to trying to collect idea's, I simply asked 'why not have a big family dinner but with the extended family also?'
And that was that.

Now I know for a lot of people, what I did wouldn't seem enough for the 'big day', or even anything at all but I can say with confidence it was enough for me.
As I've mentioned above I'm not the biggest people person and from Friday till yesterday evening, I had been surrounded with people constantly and I have to be honest and say for me, it was mentally exhausting.

By the time every one had left and I was left to my own devices, I was successfully yawning and chucking back those glasses of champagne.
For I, it was not a lot but yes, it was certainly perfect.

-
On the actual day of my birthday, I felt it would be rather be emotional because I hadn't anticipated that I would make it to my 21st birthday. 
I was certain that by about midday I would have cried at least once and rightly so I did; after putting on the ipod and playing some music, I was sat in my lounge chair, whimpering to myself about the fact I had lived for so long.
For some this may not have been a good way to celebrate a wonderful age but for me, although I felt a little bitter and very sour, I felt achievement deep within me which I hadn't ever felt before.

My family certainly did their best on trying to make me feel as best as I could, as throughout the day I endured lots of cuddles and kisses, which I personally stored beneath my skin and at the bottom of my brain.

One thing I was certain about was that although I didn't have everything, I certainly didn't need everything to feel like I had everything.