Dear Anonymous,

'Put yourself first.'

That can be today's topic A.
The reason I feel the need to discuss this is not only my thoughts for knowing that others can relate but also because I have an incessant need for opinions, which sounds a bit bizarre considering I started this post with 'Dear Anonymous'.
Nevertheless, I will proceed with out any remorse, nor will I produce negative comments; again, the reason for this is because a week ago, I returned to the doctors for my monthly visit to which I'll say I was very eager for as I had been feeling as if I was about to combust.
However for that particular appointment, my overall conclusion was that I had never felt out of place, nor did I feel like wanting to live anymore.

This month and the previous one, I have been aiming to widen my perspective mainly because when dealing with Mental Health, the vision becomes rather foggy but upon doing that, I was lead to multiple break downs and when announcing this, along with my extra thoughts, I was told that 'My brain is still on the path to recovery which means that throughout time, the neuron's in my brain will change my emotions, which impacts my opinion'.
(Basically, the development of the brain will alter your comments.)

Truthfully, I had never felt so more in the wrong and hurt; I was attempting to understand my actions, as well as others due to a problem I had been trying to resolve and because of that remark, I had never wanted to break down so badly.
It is known that when people in a similar position to I, what we do isn't exactly understood, nor is it explained but it is judged and in a way controlled, so in that moment, I realise just how misunderstood people are about Mental Health.
As of late A, I don't feel as if my opinions are accepted for what they are because of the problems I deal with and I must say that it is sickening to watch people almost deprive me of my human rights.

If I think that a scene is particular wrong and hurtful to me, it is more often then not other peoples personal way of operating is placed into suggestion, in attempt to prove me otherwise, now before I go any further, let me say one word: NO.

My conclusions, whether they be opinions or facts are not up for alteration, nor are they denied: you accept, you tell me yours and that will be the ending of it.
My thoughts are in a way my own source of power which can only be altered by myself, not by any one else purely because you think I am incorrect.
I use the term 'Put Yourself First' because as of lately, I have been trying to understand other people so much that I have almost choked myself, but let me inform you: I am not in control of you, you are and I am in control of me, not you.
I have power over me, I do not have power over you.
My illness is not an explanation for whether I am correct or incorrect, nor is my brain an excuse when you are in need of a lever to show you are in fact right.

Whether I am sad, disabled, suicidal, brutally happy, an overwhelmed mess or have cancer, you have no right to deny me of my thoughts or how I see things; we share differences because we are individual people and sometimes, that situation may lead us to war or something unhealthy, yet we aren't made to think the same or our world would be irritatingly boring, despite how easier things could be if we were to be made to think the same.

I have been told I'm wrong so many times, I have come upon the thought I must be brutally psychotic and let me tell you, there is no worser thought.

I am headstrong and I am myself, I will decide myself because I have power.
Take this as you will.