I'm not saying after every birthday, your brain will randomly receive piles of new information regarding: Life, Money and Relationships, but what I am going to mention is that throughout the year, I've learnt quite a number of things.
1. Appearance wise, nobody really gives a damn.
I suppose for me this one particularly stands out due to my lack of confidence and it's most definitely something which I am thankful for.
Many mornings of mine were spent making sure I looked appealing in hope that no one gave me the stinky eye, or looked down on me. But then I realised that, no one gave a monkeys, because truth being told, sexy didn't matter when it was freezing cold; with this realisation I began to turn my attention towards myself, instead of every one else.
'People would most likely want me to show my legs but I'm feeling jeans, so I'm going to wear jeans.'
2. Your parents suddenly become your dearest and most reliable friend.
When your a teen it's most likely certain you will go through that phase where everything regarding your parents will most likely: frustrate you, bug you and well, piss you off. I for one never really expressed hatred towards either of my parents despite their actions because truthfully, I found it vastly unfair. I can't really tell you how many times I would be with my friends and very hurtful comments would fly towards their mother and all I could respond with was 'My parents would have my head if I told them that!'
I personally have always been very close with my family and we have shown strength when the four of us were put together, but as I've grown older, I've realised that on some occasions, you're in great need of their opinion.
Truth being told, you can't really stay with your parents forever and generally your curiosity widens when you see more of the world: Holidays, brand new opportunities, Jobs, buying new houses and every thing else which comes along with independence.
In a more normal situation regarding a problem, it's likely you head towards your most trusted friend but when it comes to pulling out a mortgage for the first time, you can't turn to your friends when they too either haven't reached that stage yet or are misunderstood.
3. You will lose people, even if their your best friend.
One of my downfalls as a person is that I am constant people pleaser and when I was younger, I was much, much worse. I would try share communication equally, I would try treat them equally, I would try satisfy them and so much more, until one point: I simply just had enough.
A couple of years ago, I had the most wonderful best friend and I sincerely thought our friendship was lovely: we were honest, we spent time together, we appreciated each others families and quite a significant more. One of her downfalls was that she required a great amount of attention and it didn't matter how she would receive it, she would; I simply wafted this away because as humans we all have our little things which don't always agree with others. That was until her ways grinded my gears to such an extent, I had hit my limit.
I soon began to lack in the attention department and it wasn't evident till later on that this really had upset her, yet despite my constant attempts at asking her to confront me, she denied it.
That was that.
I'll be honest and say I had no idea that would occur and I do admit to trying to resolve it, despite her ignorance, but soon I realised that being her friend seemed to be more of a chore then a joy.
The decision was painful, but enlightening and truth being told, I'm very happy it happened.
4. Staying in, seems a lot more appealing.
I'll be honest and say that I was never the biggest partier and truthfully it hasn't changed even now, but whilst my friends went out almost every weekend, I sat in the quiet and almost winced when I saw the pictures the following morning.
It was true that I never got flack for being more of a 'stay at home' person, but I can't deny that many a time, people purposefully avoiding inviting me, because they were certain I would say no.
But thankfully as I've grown as well as others, the idea of going out doesn't seem appealing to them either, so now I can quietly sit inside with a glass of champagne without seeming uncool.
5. The importance of saying 'No.'
Again, I will bring up the fact I am a people pleaser and I don't necessarily enjoy making people grumpy, but with my anxiety being very extreme in the past years, it's more then likely that I throw myself into a ball of stress, because I don't want to piss the person off and also, I don't want to be there either.
With my anxiety levels simmering down a vast amount, I find decision making much easier and I see that guilt doesn't usually hover around me, because the truth is, no means no and I simply don't need to supply a reason.
6. Being Selfish is just as important as being selfless.
Of course in the more correct situation, like your mental health perhaps, it is vital you at least consider yourself. Mentioning the people pleaser again, I felt it crucial that I help others, even if it meant dismissing my own problems, to fix theres. But know that for once, personal consideration is VERY IMPORTANT.
Happiness is a key for every one, but it is also yours.
7. Responsible drinking for yourself and others.
One lesson I have learnt throughout drinking is that if you are holding alcohol, make sure you are with somebody you can rely on. Whenever I go out on the odd blue moon, I will make it crucial that I have some form of sobriety, so that I can get home and more often then not, it is most likely I, making sure my friend gets home safe also and without any one suspicious.
Being with some one you can rely on often means that if at moments you struggle, you have company - many a times, me and my family host little events where friends come round and have a good evening, but then more often then not, people have a drink or two.
Sometimes the guests hit that moment where they have drunk too much and it isn't acceptable for them to go behind the wheel, so politely, a friend makes it crucial that they halt their drinking, not go over the limit and take them home, as well as themselves.
Rach x
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