Old fears fall, new ones arise.

5th February.

I guess when it initially came to me writing this, I wasn't really sure of what to place in the title box, not that my original ideas were poor but generally because I needed something which explained the paragraph I'm writing as a whole.
Now I should behave and actually get onto the subject I'm supposed to be discussing.

It isn't really a secret that for the longest time now I have been aiming to recover from my...previous self and this consisted me being shipped off to multiple, nurses, doctors, counsellors, psychiatrists, the lot and I can mostly guarantee that I'll be acquainted with every individual which makes up the NHS, (private or not) by the time my stability has balanced itself out.

For the last year, or 3, I have been visiting my personal doctor; originally this was done when I was at my deepest low and my communication was at 0, and the reason to why I'm telling you this now is because I had another doctors appointment today. The reason to why I'm finding it conversation worthy is because I managed the whole trip without being terrified, before, during and after, which made me throw my fists into the air and dance with glee.

I guess to some it is probably absurd to be afraid of the doctors but for a while, when you're in a constant negative mind, admission is the greatest step to take and some how, I have conjured it.
I can walk into the building, head held high and with a sharp breath, I walk over to the women who hovers behind the window

'appointment at 9:50. room 2.'

Then with the most piercing tap, her nails scaled over the computer keys and she puts me on her register '

'take a seat, love.'

With that I sit upon the large chair and have no thoughts to which might bubble up my anxiety; in fact I don't notice that I was capable of the above until i got home.

Now, with that in the abyss, I wait patiently for new fears to drive, yet only this time I approach them with courage, not sadness.