Sleep when your dead, right?

I feel as if I may need to inform you that me and sleep haven't always been the worst of friends, but as of the past year or two, I've considered it a great enemy.
Not so long ago, I was so greatly down and stressed, my sleep time evolved into pure hell; causing me to have nightmares: I felt pain, I would scream and wake up crying, then soon, I repeatedly ran away from any chance of me sleeping.

I knew every person suffered the odd nightmare; I had always felt dreams or nightmares were a particular necessity when a person was perhaps stressed or struggling, but I had began to be worried when a nightmare began occurring every single night for over 5 months straight.

I know to some it might seem a 'little' normal but for me, (and you will soon find out) these were not just the average nightmares, for anyone. Usually nightmares will contain vivid images that would flash in our minds, make us oddly uncomfortable and would contain one particular scene which would disturb us and stick with us.

At first my nightmares would make me shiver and frighten me awake, but then soon things began to mentally scar me when I would have dreams of me killing the ones that I loved. Yes, you read that correctly killing. I began dreaming about murdering my parents, my brother, my friends and the nightmare would replay at least 3 times during the night.

I began to be severely worried as the only person who I had ever desired killing (at the time) was myself and I couldn't even inform my mother of what was going on in my head.

It takes a great deal to frighten me and I truthfully mean that, I'm not the one to scare easily but when you begin to be able to recap in your mind, your parents 'nightmare' murder (whilst I was laughing manically may I add) I soon began to contemplate my mental state, frightening me further.

I then proceeded to have two more dreams which so-to-speak, finished me off: one of which made me wake up and vomit down the toilet due to how truthfully it disturbed me and another where, I woke up in a great deal of pain and found my body was bleeding, yet I found no reason to how I did it.

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Even with hours and hours of sleep, I would still enter my day completely exhausted and my allure was certainly effected: I looked dreary, mopey and my eyes began to be sore.

As my sadness began to wade away, my sleep came back at a much gentler pace but it began to act as if it were it's own person: some nights I would sleep beautifully, wonderfully in fact, then next for maybe weeks or months, I wouldn't be able to sleep at all or I would find myself wide awake at 6AM when my parents begin to plod around the house, getting ready for work.

I soon couldn't stand the constant fro-ing and falling; I myself wasn't having the easiest of times and many will know that when you're lacking sleep, you're not really up for being social or doing anything for that matter.

So, the reason to why I sit here and type all of his event to you is because I've had a particularly awful 2-3 months and last night, I didn't sleep a wink and god damn, I am pissed off.