Up or down? I'm not entirely sure.

By now, I'm certainly used to my bodies wild array of emotions, but I can't fathom how much I hate my constant relapses.

It is has been a number of years, yet my patience has grown wearily thin and every one around me say's 'It takes time.'

When you have suffered with nothing but pain and grief for over 9 years, forgive me for thinking it is time for the situation to simmer down.

I merely aimed for this year to be slightly more positive than it has turned out to be and as I sit here and wonder what the fuck happened, I'm quite glad were heading towards the end of the year.

However, what I pity about myself is that I almost must wait for a new time to arrive; why can't I start tomorrow? 

Some changes have been remarkable this year and in some cases, I feel as a person, I've developed wonderfully.

Nevertheless, in my case, the bad always painfully outweigh the good.